Often guys tell me that they have a real problem with the attraction phase of daygame.
When I was starting out, I had the same problem. I was a logical, introverted guy, so being playful and social were close to impossible for me. I did not even understand the concept of attraction until I gained more experience and saw other guys gaming women.
I would approach a girl and just have a conversation with her. No wonder I got no numbers, or I got a number but got no replies to my texts. I was not portraying attractive qualities.
There are many ways to attract a woman to you, but the main ones are:
The first one of these that I started to get a grasp of was Knowledge. Through talking to more and more women, I did learn more about their lives, their values and the places they came from.
I also took it upon myself to travel more and experience new cities and cultures. This gave me more to talk about.
So, when I met a girl from Barcelona, I could talk about my impressions of the city, having spent a 7 months there. When I met a girl from Jerusalem, I could talk about things that other girls from the city had told me.
Having knowledge and experience is an attractive quality in a guy. You do not lack topics upon which to talk and you can often frame the interaction in such a way that you are the teacher and she is the student, or you are the father figure and she is the little girl.
This way, you are creating attraction through authority.
Challenging is fairly simple, in that you are just trying to remain present and when the girl says something particularly ridiculous, you need to stamp down on her.
For example you will be talking and she will tell you that Britney Spears is far more talented than Beethoven ever was. This is where you tell how wrong she is.
The key with challenging is to choose your battles wisely, not do it too often and not get overly emotional about it. Try to do it like a big brother teaching his young and naive sister.
Knowledge and challenging are probably the least effective of the four areas that I mentioned above though.
The two others, Teasing and Push-Pull, require you to have a playful vibe to you and if you are in a very logical frame of mind, it is going to be very difficult to do these well.
This is where self-amusement comes in.
Walking the streets of your city for hours on end can sometimes become a little dispiriting, especially if you are still new to approaching attractive women and you are not getting very positive responses to your attempts.
Your vibe can go downhill and it is a downward spiral as the girls pick up on your low emotional state and decide that they do not want to be part of it.
As you get more experienced, it becomes easier to remain in a good state no matter what gets thrown at you. This is mainly due to having experienced hundreds of blow-outs.
You just do not care any more if some random girl ignores you or finds some reason not to talk to you. But it is partially due to learning new methods to keep your vibe positive.
Self-amusement is just approaching each girl with the frame of mind where you are just trying to see how much fun it is to spend time with her. This not only asserts a positive, fun atmosphere on the interaction from the beginning, but it also means you are qualifying her and not dependent on a positive outcome, both of which are attractive characteristics.
You can do all those fun things that made you laugh over the years. I like to do things like:
Pointing to her chest and telling her that she spilled food on her blouse, then when she looks down, tickling her chin with my fingers.
Asking really random questions like what kind of ice-cream she likes or whether she has ever walked a tight-rope.
Kicking her lightly on the leg.
‘Accidentally’ bumping into her.
Even if these do not make her laugh, they will make you crack up and increase your vibe. I have said many times before, the girl is a mirror. She will duplicate your vibe and as she has a very high affinity towards good emotions, she’ll like you more.
I remember being surprised when after I just had sex with a girl, pulled out and ejaculated on her chest, she told me that she loved giving me pleasure.
I used to think that unless a girl had an orgasm herself whilst you made love with her, she would be dissatisfied with your sexual abilities. Obviously you have to learn to give her orgasms also, but more often than not, a girl loves to make a man ejaculate.
She loves the good feelings that he gets through sexual ecstasy.
So anyway, even if the girl does not find your dumb jokes funny, she will still like you more because you feel good about yourself for doing them.
Teasing comes naturally when you are in this state of mind.
You can tell her that her pony-tail reminds you of a bratty little girl at your school when you were five.
You can pick bits of fluff off her clothes and accuse her of being too messy to make a good girlfriend.
You can tell her she looks like a scientist because of her geeky glasses.
Push-Pull becomes easier too because you are less bothered what the girl thinks about you, so you can push the boundaries a little.
You can tell her you love her this much (and hold up your hand which has the first finger and thumb an inch apart) and then tell her you hate her this much (by holding your arms far apart like a guy exaggerating on the size of his fishing catch).
You can tell her how you love her style, but you are not sure if her boots go with her coat.
You can tell her that her glasses make her look like a secretary. A sexy secretary.
Attraction becomes much easier when you are feeling good vibes and going into an interaction with a girl from a frame of self-amusement helps push your vibes in a positive direction.
Give it a try and you’ll see a dramatic improvement in your enjoyment of the game and your results.